I can't taste this gin, put some more in...

Five weird things that happened to me on the weekend:

1. I went to the Down Under Bar. Worse still, I dimly remember being pretty excited about it.
2. Unconvention Brisbane took place for the first time. I chaired a panel on Music As Culture and during which Andrew Stafford, the author of Pig City: The Saints To Savage Garden, broke into song. Fellow panelist Everett True had decided that if we were asked a question we didn't wish to answer, we had to sing. What did I ask Andrew? Oh just something light and breezy: 'So what was the worst thing that happened to you because you wrote Pig City?' (I made Everett sing as well).
3. I walked around Highgate Hill at 3am with a cocktail.
4. A taxi driver told me that we should just shoot people who wish to immigrate to our country. 'Just shoot them, it doesn't cost a lot to shoot people.' And I tipped him. This morning I couldn't remember why. Then I did. I tipped him because I was scared he was going to kill me and dump my severed body parts in the river.
5. Walking up Merthyr Road last night, not 15 minutes after Ted Bundy the taxi-driver, a car pulled up next to me as I walked along. The driver said 'You want a lift.' I told the driver I lived closeby so it was cool. I was eating a packet of crisps. Then the driver said 'Do you want me to suck your cock?' and I said 'Nah man, I'm good' and he drove off.